Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Obedience

Something happened to me about a week ago that I am just now getting around to recording, but I feel that it is important to share anyway. And in light of Darin's message on Saturday and the weekend message, I think it ties in rather nicely.

So let me set this up for you.

My class:
I'm taking an inter religious dialogue class this quarter. The class is set up so that in our lecture of about 300 on Tuesday the professor presents a prompt and the historical/religious context. On Wednesday we have a discussion of the papers we wrote in response to the prompt in a class of about 30 people. On Thursday we meet in the lecture hall again of and the professor asks people to come up to the front and present their response to the prompt. Then the class can ask the volunteers questions. That's the basic set up. But as you can imagine, it becomes very heated. I'm not a person who does well with confrontation and it has pained me to see people talk themselves into a corner and see people say horribly degrading things to one another. In short, this class is the very definition of spiritual warfare. But don't get me wrong though, I absolutely love this class. I love the challenge, I love the writing, I love having an open mind.

What happened:
The lecture this particular week was a lengthy list of reasons why theists believe in God with corresponding atheist responses. For the prompt we had to pick the most convincing argument to us for either side and defend it. I feel very comfortable speaking my mind in the discussion, but I have never felt bold enough to volunteer to go to the front of the lecture hall and speak. This week however, a boy named Juan who I have never talked to before, approached me after discussion and began talking to me about what I thought of the class. At some point I asked him if he was going to volunteer the next day in class. He told me that he would if the Spirit lead him too. I had been feeling for some time now that I really should be bold and speak in class. But I couldn't stop myself from confessing to this near complete stranger that I was scared. Juan went on to tell me that God knows what I am capable of and that he would never put me in a situation I would not be equipped to handle. He said that God only has love for us and that He ultimately has our best interest at heart. Now it wasn't as if any of this was news to me, but I am convinced that this Juan guy was literally a mouthpiece of the Spirit in that moment. I have never felt more encouraged and convicted to do something in my enitire life. And the revelation that this was an honest to goodness conviction from God absolutely terrified me. I literally wanted to run away from this conversation. Now I did not do that, I felt that might have been rude to Juan. But I certainly became very uncomfortable and I was so when the conversation ended. But I couldn't shake the conviction. I wrestled with it all day and it was at the high school life group that I finally realized that denying this conviction would be the worst thing to do. I told the girls so that I would be held accountable and so that I could recieve prayer. I knew that if I kept this to myself there would be nothing to compel me to follow through.

So I did it. I spoke in class. I was obedient. Nothing dramatic happened, no one asked me any questions or attacked me, God didn't bring divine enlightenment upon the class. It seemed like I had made such a big deal over something that ended up being relatively simplistic. But I am certainly not taking this for granted. This experience has actually been incredibly monumentuous for me. The first being, the power of prayer. Wednesday, the day of the initial conviction, was stressful to say the least. But the next morning, and even right after I told the girls, I felt this overwhelming and calming peace. I know my girls were praying for me and I can not deny the power in that. Kati told me a few days later that she had prayed that the class would be silent and just listen to what I had to say. And that's exactly what happened. I'm just blown away by how amazing that is.

The second reason for this being monumentuous is the simple obedience of it all. In reality, what I said in class wasn't really that important. I have no idea if what I said changed anyone's life or if they will eventually turn to Jesus--I'm certainly not denying that as a possibility--but ultimately this was such a literal act of obedience. I felt convicted to do something and I did it. I think that is what gave me such peace about the whole thing. In all honesty, I was a little disappointed that I didn't feel "fulfilled" or something afterwards because the day leading up to it caused me so much grief. But what I'm walking away triumphantly from this situation because I have this new confidence in my walk in obedience to God. I have been praying for boldness and for God to use me in some way. This has been my prayer for quite some time now. Chris Ward described it in a past sermon as a "whatever moment". I was presented with a circumstance for me to prove it. I feel confident that this was just the beginning of a new series of events in obedience. I am so excited and so ready.

9 comments:

  1. Think about the fact that possibly one person in that room, just one, could be experiencing eternal life with our Creator because of your obedience. Bri i dont believe God put it on your heart to be bold and speak up because it was simply a test for you... The divine appointment with Juan didn't happen JUST for your encouragement... The Spirit wanted to reach people in that room and God chose you to be the one it came out of... You planted seeds, God's Truth does not go wasted... you Glorified Him in your obedience :)

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  2. So awesome Bri!
    I want the same thing! I can feel it brewing. Thank you for the encouragement! That's so awesome!

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  3. :) Love the obedience. High five & hugs. Your obedience spoke to the Lord's heart. Goosebumps. This challenge has prepared you for something greater.

    love.

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  4. I love that I got to hear this story in person. : ) yay. I thought of you this week when I was about the jump off a cliff of obedience. thanks for the encouragement through your actions.

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  5. 1. i hope you're having a lovely weekend at home! 2. this is such a good story. i'm really proud of you. even though it is a simple thing, a few weeks ago darin talked about how the simple things lead to big things. how/ why would God use us for the big things if we can't even be obedient in the little things. i'm really encouraged by this. obedience can be so tough and i'm actually feeling rather convicted right now haha, so thank you!

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  6. Great job on being obedient Bri :) I would have responded the same way you did at first, but I love how when you actually step into obedience God shows you that it is not as bad as you thought. We allow for fear and doubt and especially the fear of man enter our mind and take over at times. As you continue to step into obedience and listen to His voice, He will continue to mold and shape you and to use you in mighty ways. Thank you for sharing this story. I think if maybe even your class wasn't effected which I'm sure some were, at least Circles can learn from this experience with you :)

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  7. I know I heard this story at life group last week but I wanted to encourage you again. I am so proud of you for your obedience! Keep it up girl. I hope you are having a great time with the fam! See you tomorrow!

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  8. i'm praying that God would help you to always hear His voice so clearly and that obedience would always be instantaneous and full of joy. He adores you and desires to speak to you and work through you always. :)

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  9. Can I just say this was such an awesome post! I love hearing these kinds of stories. Although, in a sense it kinda does suck when you totally know the spirit is talking through someone and you are totally convicted, because you want to run but you know you gotta stay. Totally encouraging story nevertheless!

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