Hello everyone! I'm sorry, I know it's definitely been far too long since my last post. To be completely honest my life has been an insane roller coaster of unpredictable events over the last month or so. I have been so thankful for our community and the wonderful conversations I've had with many of you since the last entry in my blog. But I would like to summarize what's been going on since that last post.
This whole housing situation has been the major contributor to the turbulence in my life. As it stands right now, I still don't have a place to live and I am staying at my aunt's house living out of suitcases. I am so fortunate to have that kind of support in my family and she has been a huge support for me during this time. We began searching for a house well over two months ago and we began that search with a lot of excitment and hope. The search eventually became incredibly stressful without reaping any sort of progress. The places we could afford ended up being way too far away for me and in kind of shady areas. I'm not sure if it's because I was the only one with an upcoming move out date or not, but no one else seemed to be grasping the urgency in our house search. I was the one communicating and orchestrating things with the realtor and it was increasingly diffucult to get people to turn in paperwork in a timely manner etc.
So about two Sundays ago we found out that we had finally been accepted for a house to rent. The house was rundown and all the way up in Fullerton. But the price was really good, so we were going to move forward with signing the paperwork. A few days later and some suspicious actions on the part of the owner's and the listing agent later, we found on the county record that the house had been filed for default and foreclosed on back in April. The house was a scam. The owners and listing agent were trying to cash in on our deposit and first month's rent before skipping out leaving us to find an eviction notice from the bank a few days later. Thank God we caught it before any of that happened and indeed before we signed any paperwork! But it did set us back a week or so and certainly caused us to be more cautious.
It was after that close call though I began to become wary about my future living situation. I really didn't want to have to commute as far as Fullerton considering that I go to school and work in Irvine! And my car has been acting up a little lately. My car has proven to be incredibly unreliable over the years and I've replaced almost every part in it other than the engine itself. So if my car did break down completely it might be forever and I most definitely can't afford to buy a new one at the moment. I have wonderful and amazingly supportive parents who happen to pay my rent and at evaluating all of this, they began to pressure me to reconsider living closer to campus. After a lot of consideration I decided that I would have to tell my other roommates that I would need to start looking for an alternative. I found an apartment complex in Santa Ana that I really liked. When I expressed this to my future roommates one of them was incredibly understanding and was on board to live with me in that other apartment. The other did not receive this information well at all. There are a lot of details that go into what happened after this but I'll keep it short. She saw my decision to abide by my parent's wishes as a betrayal of our commitment to live together. I knew that it would a difficult task telling her this information, but the response I received in doing so blew up in my face. I saw a side of her character that I had never seen before. She insulted me and my family and just really lashed out in general. I'm still kind of in shock about what happened. Like I said there are a lot more disappointing and discouraging details about the actual confrontation that I'm skimming over, but all in all it was an incredibly hurtful and disturbing encounter. So I guess I could really use some prayer in recovery in that. And for her as well, she obviously acted out of hurt and anger. I know that she is incredibly hurt by me as well and I'm definitely praying that God will use this in her life. As guilty as I feel about the way things went down and were taken, I have this overwhelming peace about the situation. I think it just took me a really long time to realize how ultimately unhealthy this relationship and living situation was becoming. There was a lot of strings attached to living with these people and I think that I probably let the things that were bothering me go on a little too long. I am an incredibly passive person and in a lot of my past relationships I have been taken advantage of. So for God to use me to stand up for myself and really speak my mind in this situation has been a very unusual and encouraging experience. I have been granted a certain kind of boldness and peace I have never possessed before. And for that I am incredibly thankful. I am also very hopeful about the place I will eventually find. It is now just going to be me and my friend Jessi and I am feeling much more secure about that! I'm praying and know that God will redeem this entire situation and ultimately our new living environment will be ideal.
God has really been giving me a lot to look forward to in regards to my future! I have a camp that I am working at in my home town to look forward to in the immediate future (I really need to blog about this....Art's Camp is one of the highlights of my life every year!!!). And I am looking forward to going forward with High School and maybe helping out with Circles for the next year. I really just want to be available and present so that God can use me wherever I am needed. I feel like it's really important for my to stay plugged into the lives of my high school girls! I can't really describe it, but I have this overwhelming feeling that God has a lot to teach me and reveal to me over the next year and I am stoked for that journey. I have been really desiring to allow Him to change my character and make it more like His. This year has been very introspective and I've learned a lot about myself and I've gained a lot of knowledge. Because I have learned so much I can see now how much more I need to learn! It's an exciting season to be in for sure!