I will be going home this weekend to see my family in Folsom. I know it seems like a random time for a trip in the middle of February. But my mother has been set on bringing me home once a month since the beginning of the school year, plus she found really cheap flights through Southwest. I have been looking forward to this quick trip home over the past few weeks, but due to recent events I'm a little apprehensive about the whole thing. I mentioned on our facebook group page that a coworker of mine passed away over the weekend. When I come home I will be attending her funeral and all that that entails. I have been fortunate in my life thus far as to have never had anyone close to me pass away. I couldn't say that Kaylee and I were particularly close intimate friends, but she was certainly someone that I considered a friend in addition to being someone I saw almost everyday that I worked over the past year and a half. Her passing was sudden and I'm having a hard time letting it sink in-- it just doesn't seem real. I just feel very distant from this entire ordeal. This may be amplified by the fact that I moved away from that environment some five months ago and I'm geographically far away from everyone involved. I really don't have any analytical or profound revealations to share about this. And anything I could think of to say probably just some sort of cliche or regurgitated hallmark card saying.
I know that I've certainly been shaken by her passing, but I am grateful that I will soon be in the company of many friends and coworkers who can share these feelings of shock and loss with me. I'm so glad that God instilled in us a longing for community with one another. It's time like these that the importance of togetherness is realized. What has really been resonating with me lately are the chapters in Nouwen's book that discuss joy and finding joy in everything because of God's love. This weekend is going to be very difficult, but my intentions are to keep in mind that "joy is based on the spiritual knowledge that, while the world in which we live is shrouded in darkness, God has overcome the world."
Our emotional lives are often so mysterious, and there's no telling exactly where this weekend will take you. Regardless, I'll be praying that God makes his presence very tangible for you. We'll miss you on Saturday!
ReplyDeleteWe will miss you and we will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBri! You are in my thoughts and prayers while you are home this weekend. I have loved every minute of getting to know you...and I know that you will be a light and an encouragement to those around you during this tough time. Can't wait til you get back so we can have some more REAL TALK!! Love ya girl!
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
ReplyDeleteBri, I hope that your weekend went well, and we are praying for you for sure! It is so difficult to remember God's goodness when things happen that we just can't understand, but I'm thankful that you do seem to be dwelling on that, and that God will use that to shine light on others around you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a great example of someone who is intentionally living that out, finding joy in God.
ReplyDeletelovely quote. thanks for sharing your thoughts. death is always difficult and surreal. thank you for your honesty about where you're at.
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